Have a great month, laboring or not.
Trudy
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SEPTEMBER 2011 “FMP”
My daughter was very frustrated one day. She e-mailed me that she was in the counting room of her job and was about to explode. It seems there were many interruptions and a co-worker wasn’t doing their job, which caused more problems for my daughter. I wrote back with, I guess, the wisdom of a mother and one who’d been where she was: “Count every item as one of your blessings. You may run out of items.” I think of all my blessings, not at once, but through the day….o.k. when I remember. I’ve been told that even in the worst situation, there is a blessing; however, you may have to look very hard. Yep, it’s really hard to find a blessing with 80 gallons of water from a washing machine dumped on your new carpet; time trials around the upstairs between the dog and 2 kids with them not being able to go outside; being so sick you pray to die, but God has other plans; or the new car being hit by a person not paying attention to where you were when they backed-out of the parking spot at the mall. She admitted it was her fault. Then, to go to their insurance company and have the adjudicator tell you, “You realize it’s partly your fault because you were there.” Somewhere in all of those situations there was a blessing. I haven’t thought of one yet.
We're surrounded by woods, so sometimes I sit on the deck and watch the squirrels play and work feverishly to find the nuts they buried, but forgot where they put them. Absolutely can I identify with that!!!!! When I've hidden things that are theirs from the kids, as punishment, they come and ask me when they may have them returned. "When I remember where I hid them," is what I tell them. Exasperated, they leave. I call back, "See why you shouldn't anger me?" One of them was either brave or stupid (you choose) when they hollered back, "So, the van made you mad and you hid the keys from it?" Their birth certificate was in real jeopardy.
A VERY SHORT STORY---Man isdriving down road. Woman driving up same road. They pass each other. Woman yells out window, PIG! Man yells out window, BITCH! Man rounds next curve. Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies. Thought For the Day: If men would just listen ....
The cat, giraffe and camel are the only 3 animals that walk by moving their 2 right feet, then their 2 left feet.
Hubby Dearest has an electric lifting chair which he likes very much. He was sitting in it and frequently changed the positions. I was intently watching a courtroom program, but kept getting distracted by the whirring of the motor as he changed the positions. “You’re going to wear that thing out!” I exclaimed. “Well, it appears your jaws aren’t worn out,” he shot back. “At least I give them a rest,” I fired off. “Oh please state the date and time of that miracle,” was his up-lifting reply.
I NEVER shop at Best Buy because it isn't a best buy when they charge you 15% to restock the shelf of a returned item causing you to NOT get ALL your money back. It's a rip-off and they know it. Whenever there is a shipping and handling fee, I check to see just what percentage it is. If it is more than 5%, I write a letter to the company and tell them I'll not do business with them, and that I'm telling all my friends and relatives who each knows 25 people and each of them knows 25 people----"Like the pyramid y'all, or can you do that kind of math?" Yep, I've actually said that in a letter. At 66, I don't care if I'm liked or not, and I'll wear red and purple together if I want, too. Plaids and polka dots together are a bit much, though.
I came across mood buttons I’d like to give to some.Perhaps you’d like some of them, too. Here they are: Well, aren’t we just a screwed-up ray of sunshine?, If we are what we eat, then I’m fast, cheap & easy., Rest assured, no one gives a fart what you think., Ask me about my ability to annoy complete strangers., I see you’re playing stupid again…looks like you’re winning, too., Don’t make me go psycho-woman on your annoying butt., Did you eat a bowl of STUPID for breakfast?, A few clowns short of a circus now, aren’t we?, Back to your bridge, you evil troll!! You have no powers here., Please take a number and stick it in your ear., Do you know my friend, T Diddley Doo?, I’m smiling---that alone should scare you., Being a nasty, impossible twit is part of my charm., I totally agree with Rhett Butler’s final statement to Scarlet..…only, you’re not my dear.
Brenduhh came over for tea. “Trudy, do you remember when I told you I used to work at a fast food place in Nachitoches, LA? Well, one time I was approached by two travelers. They ordered their food. They argued about the town’s name pronunciation and then asked me to slowly pronounce where they were. I told them, ‘Burrrrr-gerrr, Kiiiiinnnggg’. I don’t know why they got irritated.” I poured her some more “oh my” tea.
Please remember that true friends do NOT let you drink and then take home ugly women or men. It’s a rule.
When I was pregnant with my 3rd. child, my second child came in and said, “Mommy, you’re getting fat.” I told her, “You know there is a baby growing in me.” She, in all her 3 years of wisdom said, “I know, but what is growing in your butt?”
PRAYING is taking our troubles and concerns to God; FAITH is leaving them there. Yep, I hear an "amen" or two.
Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa, You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin’ wrong with the outhouse." Ma yells back, "Yes there is; now git out there and fix it." So, Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma, there ain't nuthin’ wrong with the outhouse!" Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!" Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin’ my head in that hole!" Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix." So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma There ain't nuthin’ wrong with this outhouse!" Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!" Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks on the toilet seat!" To which Ma replies, "Hurt's, don't it?!
Throughout my life I’ve been exposed to many languages and expressions used from those languages. The ones which seem to really paint a vivid picture for me are from Yiddish. The program LAVERN AND SHIRLEY had Yiddish in the theme song---shlimil (bungler) shlimazl (bad luck, misfortune). We SHLEP (pull, drag) around; We PUTZ (move about picking up clutter); There is SHMUTZ(dirt) to get rid of.; the cartoon character SHREK (fear, alarm) has made Hollywood; some people are a MENTSH (decent person); and then there is the expression MAZLTOV (good luck/congratulations)! Some of us have a lot of CHUTZPAH (nerve, guts); We NOSH (snack) on LOX (smoked salmon) and BAGELS and BLINTZES; We KIBITZ (offer unwanted advice) to a KLUTZ (clumsy person) who KVETCHES (grips) at the bumps they have; they seem to be a NOODGE/NUDNIK (boring pest). I get VERKLEMPT (choked with emotion) when talking about some things. There is a website which has a whole SCHMEER (entire set) of Yiddish words used in English. Here it is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...Yiddish_origin
I told my husband I’d read an article about a carwhich runs on air. He was amazed and started doing somecalculations. I asked him what he was calculating. He said, “Well, if I’m driving it by myself I’ll probably be able to go about 50 miles; but, if you’re with me…..oh, the trip could be to across the country and back.” I blew off his reply.
Illinois toll roads are the only tolls roads in the United States that accept pennies….The land of Lincoln it surely is!
Recently some male invented a camera which has a shutter speed so fast it can photograph a woman with her mouth closed. Interesting how the wife’s accomplishment of being able to smack that man faster than the speed of light was never mentioned.
tmesis (tuh-MEE-sis, TMEE-sis) noun Stuffing a word into the middle of another word. Examples: a-whole-nother, abso-bloody-lutely. I thought this was a very interesting term. I’m sure we have all heard a “word” we rummaged through in our mental dictionary only to find it’s not really there…the dictionary, not our mind; well for some that is.
Recently I was trying NOT to put my hands on my 17 year old son to jerk him into behaving. Here is what I told him: "I am practicing EXTREME self-control right now with you and your horrid behavior and mouth. If I would touch you, you would be in a world of hurt and doing that pain dance all over the house. I love you, but right now I don't really like you. It takes a lot of effort to like someone, but love comes easily. I will love you forever, and it came automatically, but liking you is earned." He questioned, “Do you know where my Lego game is?”
A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary. –Thomas Carruthers Guy and I have found this to be so true. Teachers seem to work their way out of immediate necessity. Come to think of it, parents do, too.
I don’t know how many of you have knowledge of the German language. I’ve studied it a bit and found I got tongue-tied on some of the words. Gods, are they ever long. Mark Twain said of the language, “Some German words are so long they have a perspective." No wonder they lost in WWII. By the time the orders were given, we were there!
Swearing to tell "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" dates back to English Common Law. Interestingly enough, there were no penalties for perjury until the 1600s; prior to that time, it was believed that the fear of God's wrath was enough to keep witnesses honest.
The more I know, the more I know I don’t know. True love is neither physical nor romantic. It is an acceptance of all that is, what has been, will be, and will not be.
Blessings to you, Trudy J
P.S. Thank you for your prayers for my beloved. He came home August 19 after being in the hospital 75 days. He is regaining his strength slowly.
The hand that gives the rose always receives some fragrance.
Don't dwell on who let you down, cherish those who hold you up.
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