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2013 January Newsletter "From My Perspective"

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  • 2013 January Newsletter "From My Perspective"

    The first testicular guard, the “cup”, was used in hockey in 1874. The first helmet was used in 1974. That indicates, it took 100 years for men to realize their brain is also important. I know you’re laughing; I couldn’t quit. As I look at where this piece of information has been placed, I thought of the correlation there may be. LOL

    I was lying down doing some exercises on the floor a few years ago; Hubby Dearest came over and stood next to me. I asked him what he was doing...his size 14 feet were definitely in the way of rolling my size "OMG" hips. He said, "I just wanted you to know I'm nuts over you."

    Brenduhh came over all honked at the police. I asked her what was wrong. She told me, “For some stupid reason the police came over, handcuffed me and told me ‘Anything you say can and will be held against you.’ So, I looked the officer in the eye and said, ‘I’d like Adam Levine’ from THE VOICE. He’s quite a hunk.’ ” I guess they decided to investigate the issue allegedly presented to them because she was released and an apology was given; they’d gone to the wrong house.

    Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was: “Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.” The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was having difficulty thinking of seven advantages. However, he wrote:
    1) It is the perfect formula for the child. 2) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3) It is always the right temperature. 4) It is inexpensive. 5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa. 6) It is always available as needed. Then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote: 7) It comes in two attractive containers, and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it. He got an A.

    No matter what you do, there will always be a "Lie" in Believe, an "Over” in Lover, an "End" in Friend, an "Us" in Trust and, an "If" in Life.

    To hide the Halloween candy I really like, I've emptied a Brussels sprout bag in the bottom of the big freezer and put the chocolate candy in it. I have a pretty bowl on the coffee table and put the hard candy and candy corn in it. I have to dust the pieces from time to time.

    Here are some new political terms which may interest you: Ineptocracy (in-ep-toc'-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers. Conservatyranny (kuhn-sur-vuh-tir-ə-nē) -a political philosophy where one person or a small group of people believe the government should be run according to their select beliefs, despite the fact a majority of the country rejects such beliefs. Dogmaticracy (dog-ma -tic'-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing. Trumpelstiltskin: An evil imp who commands much attention until he is called out for his lies and falls deep into a media chasm, never to be heard from again. Palindrone: Droning on and on in front of cameras in order to keep yourself in the media so you can continue to secure large speaking fees at right-wing political events. News Corpulence: A bloated media empire. Obamanure: When Obama goes overboard in his special comments, promises, and sh**.

    "Nigglywiggly" is the actual name of the little paper flag thingy sticking out of the top of Hershey's kisses! Do not get his confused with “Pigglywiggly”, which is a grocery store in the South. "Grammy, what is fog?" asked the little one to me. "It is a cloud that fell to Earth," I told. "Oh no!!! Did it get hurt? I hope not; we don't have a big enough Band-aid to fix the boo-boo." “That which is essential is invisible to the eye.” Antoine de Saint-Exupéry THE LITTLE PRINCE

    I'm thankful for doors. They let in those I love and enjoy being with, and they release those who need to take their drama elsewhere.

    “Jealousy is the fear of comparison.” If you think about it and remember a time you were jealous of someone or what they had, you will see that the statement has credence. There are times I’ve been jealous of a friend’s size because I’m comparing my size with hers (she’s svelte and toned). Then I realize she spends 3 hours in the gym every day and has no children or responsibilities as I have. Her concerns are: “what new exercise outfit should I wear today; at what restaurant are we going to eat tonight; I hope the cruise lasts longer than 2 weeks.” My concerns are different and focused on helping my 2 teen “terrorists” live in the real world and keeping my sanity.

    In our 25+ years together, Hubby Dearest raised his voice in anger about 3 times. When I asked him why he didn’t yell more, he replied, “There is no need to. You’ve cornered the market on that.” He was so funny.
    Two friends of mine (just about as insane as I am) were over for some tea. They were discussing chest congestions and enemas. Here is what one of them said, “Yes, an enema will help chest congestion if the tube goes far enough. It'll clean out your sinuses, too, depending on the length of the tubing. Gag reflex gets to ya, though.” I couldn’t stop coughing. The speaker looked at me with evil in her eyes and mentioned a remedy. “Oh hell, NO!!!” flew out of my mouth.

    The sentence "Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" is grammatically correct. It utilizes the three meanings of the word "buffalo" – the city, the animal and the verb "to bully." In the most simplified terms, the sentence means, "New York bison whom other New York bison bully, themselves bully New York bison."
    “It’s the events in our life that shape us, but it’s our choices that define us.”

    Why is it we have to press 1 for English only to be transferred to someone who doesn’t really understand or speak it? Why is it just when you get your hands in the meat loaf mix the phone rings? Why is it you get storage boxes to store the clutter and when filled they create a clutter all their own? Why is it Monday through Friday you drag yourself out of bed when the alarm rings, but on Saturday and Sunday you’re wide awake BEFORE it would ring Mon. through Fri.?
    Recently I telephoned a grocery store looking for a certain brand and type of creamer. I told the associate I wanted the powdered type. She asked, “Do you mean the DRY powder kind?” All I could think of was, “Powder is dry. You must be related to Brenduhh.” Her influence is everywhere!

    Speaking of Brenduhh, here is her latest episode. I was there and can vouch that this happened. A police officer pulled over her car as she was driving it...Cop: "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?" Brenduhh: "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65." Cop: "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!" Brenduhh: "Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on." At this point the cop looked in the back seat of the car, where we were shaking and white as ghosts. Cop: "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something awful." Before she could speak I said, “Oh!! She just got off highway 116. I’m so glad to see you!!”
    In the throws of "combat" with some school administrators,I have just smiled. They stopped their "attack" because they were wondering what I knew that they didn't, AND what the he** was going to come out of my mouth next. One of them, in private, told me, “Trudy, you’re an ‘oral surgeon’---your words can cut open your opponent and extract.”

    My girlfriend lives in a neighborhood where each homeowner tries to outdo the others with Christmas lights. Her house was sandwiched between two of most prolific. She got tired of all the competition and told her husband to just put up something simple, but eye-catching. After viewing all the other houses which were ablaze with lights, he made his decision. In the front yard on a big piece of wood he wrote in lights: “DITTO” with a lighted arrow at the first and last letter of the word pointing to the house of each next door neighbor.

    The first ZIP code was issued to Agawam, MA. The town's postal code is 01001.

    A twine is, literally, two threads. A siesta is sixth hour. And, to atone is to be "at one" or be in agreement.

    Prayer, whether knowingly or not, is natural. Even an atheist prays; they just don't know it as we do. Case in point: An atheist played to win the lottery. There was quite a large sum in it and the person knew that if they won, they'd not have to financially be concerned about anything for the rest of their life. They said, "Oh I surely do hope I win. Come on, help me to win." That's a prayer, so is "Help me." So, we all pray in one way or another. Those of us who are believers in a higher power recognize prayer/talking to that power. Those who are not believers still hope. Hope is a prayer. You see, there is no way out of not praying.

    My girlfriend Deb got each of her kids a tree for Christmas. She told me, “Now they can tell me when money grows on it.”

    The garage is now a mouse mortuary and will continue to be that way for a while. I'm capturing some in a release trap, but they're not being released to come back. I put the trap with the mouse in it in a plastic bag, tie it shut, and plunk it into the chest freezer. Hours later I take it out...Mousecicle. Then I put the mousecicle outside and a hawk or coyote have a snack. I’m helping the food chain. Do NOT chastise me for this or I'll tell the mouse families where you live!

    As we move into a new year, some things will be put into the category of “OF THE YEAR”. One of those things is a word or words. I found this and thought it was interesting enough to share with you especially since part of the explanation originated in WWII. I’m a WWII baby. I’ve used the WWII origins often. The selection by editors at OxfordUniversity Press’s UK headquarters is omnishambles, which denotes a thoroughly mismanaged situation notable for a chain of errors. The sense is similar to the American English acronyms fubar and snafu, which originated among service personnel inspired with an ironic nod toward the military’s propensity for describing bureaucratic phenomena with abbreviations. (For the record, fubar stands for “fouled up beyond all recognition,” and snafu is an acronym for “situation normal — all fouled up” — except fouled has been substituted for another word starting with f, as do many others who cater to their own or others’ delicate sensibilities when they spell these terms out.)” I remember hearing Daddy mentioning situations as “SNAFU”. I think it was in my teen years when he and I would be challenged with each other’s personality or resistance----he called it “stubborn”, I called it “determined”.

    At the end of each Christmas gathering and the opening of presents, Daddy would say, “There is nothing more over than Christmas.” Gosh that is so true.

    Blessings to you. Trudy J
    Whether you think you can or think you can''re right.

    "There is no try; you either do or don't." Yoda