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2014 November Newsletter

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  • 2014 November Newsletter

    2014 November “FMP”
    Brenduhh popped in for some coffee last week. She askedme if I thought she was crazy. I rummaged through my mental ROLL-A-DEX of diplomatic things to say to people. “No, sweetie, I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you have a different thought process of reality,” I schmoozed. “That’s good because Christmas is coming up and I want to make sure I have enough Pysanky eggs in all colors.” (**Pysanky is a Polish and Ukrainian art of decorating Easter eggs.) “How about some more coffee and kolaczkis (“kolatchkys”)?” I offered.
    A lie doesn't become truth, wrong doesn't become right and evil doesn't become good, just because it's accepted by the person saying any or all of this.
    I saw a sign the other day which said, “Put an end to any negative habits or patterns in your family’s history. Be the one who rises up and changes things.” O.K. Everyone in my family likes Brussels sprouts. I will rise up and NOT like them. Problem solved; I feel victorious!
    The other day my 21 year old, autistic spectrum grandson/son started admonishing his sister for the very same thing he does. She remained quiet because she knew to return the admonishment would lead to a verbal battle of epic proportions. After he left the room and was out of hearing range, I called her to me. I told her, “You remained quiet when he was spouting off at you. That took a lot of inner strength. You are the winner because I know you wanted to say things to him and his words were hurting you. So, I think I’ll just call you ‘Victorious’. That’s my secrete name for you.” She smiled and walked a bit taller.
    I have a dear friend who is dealing with a lot of disappointment with her relationship with her mother. She told me she cries a lot. I told her, “You do know that tears are the safety valve of the heart, but don't cry so much that you cry your heart out.” She smiled.
    My lovely daughter had gone to a cosmetic salon and had new make-up applied. I saw how she looked and typed, “It makes you look more beautiful-er.” She knows how grammatically correct I try to be. I told her, “Do you know how much courage it took for me to type that misspelled word which is not even a word???????”
    Have you ever seen a female so made up with make-up that she looks like there was an explosion in the CRAYOLA factory and you know she thinks she looks pretty good? I know, the visual is probably making you laugh out loud. Go for the snort!!!
    One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones form themselves into the proper patterns at the right moment. -Hart Crane, poet (1899-1932)
    A friend of mine announced, “I am disappointed with the actor chosen to play "Christian Grey" in the up-coming 50 Shades of Grey movie..... The part was made for Matt Bomer NOT Jamie Dornan.... Who's with me? LOL” My reply was, “Since I've not read the book, nor care to, it makes no difference to me who is chosen. What does make a difference to me is if the popcorn will have real butter on it and be less expensive than it is. Also, how about letting horny senior women in for 1/2 price?”
    Uncle Horace came over sort of in a snit. I asked himwhat the problem was. “Aww, Sugar, thanks fer askin’. I was at the pub last night and mentioned to a gal who was dancin’ on a table, ‘Nice legs.’ She said, ‘Do ya really think so?’ I told her, ‘Yep, cause any other table’d be collapsed by now.’ Then I moved on down the bar only to find a sweet thang standin’ all alone. ‘Well, howdy. How y’all doin’?’ I asked her. She smiled and made me feel special. Then, she said kinda nasty like, ‘If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got a harcut, you’d look all right.’ I told her right smart like, ‘If I did all that, I’d be a-talkin’ to yer friends over thar instead a you.’” She smacked me on the cheek. I’d just taken a big swig of beer before she done that. Dang, what a waste of a swig, and she was a bit messy, too.” I just gave him a hug and told him I thought he was right special.
    When I was teaching American literature, I did a unit on Uncle Remus' Br'er Rabbit and his friends. Well, Northern teens have absolutely NO idea how southern, plantation Blacks talked. Joel Chandler Harris did because he lived in Atlanta, GA which had been my stompin' grounds for about 10 years when I was little. I even had a tour of his home....THE WREN'S NEST. Little did I know then that I'd be teaching his stories in the dialect he wrote. Well, after I had to sit down a bit because the student reading THE TAR BABY, made me laugh so hard (I told the reader they did a good job at trying to pronounce and read the "foreign words"), I asked the class if they'd like to hear how it sounded as it was written. Of course they said, "YES!!!" I went back in my mind to the Civil War and the "Folks" who ran the plantation. I visualized Uncle Remus and started to read. The room was like a tomb. The kids moved their heads closer to me listening so intently. Then when I finished the story, I had a hard time getting out of the character. I love the Southern way of talking and usually slide into it whenever I watch Paula Deen. “Y’all” is still in my vocabulary and I use it frequently.
    It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. -J.K. Rowling, author (b. 1965)
    Every morning I awaken and know it is a new day. It is a chance to make new friends or honk off a whole new group of people. Oh the choices!!!
    Even though this seems like a fairly obvious one, it is illegal in Alaska to give a moose a beer. However, giving a moose a muffin is still permitted.
    Brenduhh’s brother came by huffing and puffing. “Hey Trued, ya got any lemonade? I’m all outta breath.” “I surely do. Sit down before you fall down, Bumpa. Why are you huffing and puffing?” “Well, I was out walkin’ and hadn’t planned on going for a run, but them cops jest came outta no where. So I high tailed it over here.” “Oh. How many ice cubes do you want in your lemonade to go?” I asked him.
    [IMG]file:///C:\Users\owner\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtml1\01\clip _image002.jpg[/IMG]I’d been having a bit of trouble remembering things. But, at age 69.5 years I figured it was normal. I had some other things which needed to be checked, so I called the doctor and made an appointment. I’ve known him for a long time, and he’s about 5 years younger than I am. I mentioned I’d been forgetting things and wondered if this was a bad sign. He told me, “No, it’s normal; so, don’t dwell on it. The thing you’re trying to remember will come to you.” He handed me a little hand-sized booklet which was taped shut and told me to read it when I left. It was a little something he’d written and would help me with the remembering. When I got home I looked at the title. It said, THE 5 STAGES OF FORGETTING. I opened it and saw this: “1.___2. _____3. ____4. ____5. ____.”
    I roared and knew I’d be fine.
    I was watching Billy Crystal’s tribute to Muhammad Ali. He imitated Ali’s statement of, “Why I’m so fast I can turn out my bedroom light and be in bed before it gets dark.” I laughed. At my age I can turn out my bedroom light to go to sleep at night and make it to the bed about 1 hour before the alarm goes off.
    I just read that there is a town in Missouri called Sample. Its water has a strange taste and is yellow due to all the tannins in the ground. In the middle of town is a park which has a fountain of yellow water. The sign in front of it says, “Don’t drink the water. You’re in Sample.” Think about it, y’all.
    Brenduhh’s brother, Bumpa, came running for more lemonade. “Trude, I need some more lemonade, please.” I noticed he was slurring his words and thought he probably had put some “libation” in the last glass I gave him. “Bumpa, you’re slurring your words. I think you’ve put some “libation” in your lemonade.” “Aww, Miss Trudy, I ain’t been doing that. I’m talking in cursive.”

    [IMG]file:///C:\Users\owner\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtml1\01\clip _image004.jpg[/IMG]This would be me if it were a SNAKE. I have touched a snake 2 times in my entire 69 years of life. The FIRST was at the zoo when a handler was holding a yellow python. I extended my index finger and touched it briefly. It felt like the nubs on a basketball. The SECOND time was in my back yard. The kids spied it and screamed for me. I came running (something I seldom do) grabbing a hoe. I touched the creature with my hoe about 8 times, each time making more of it than it had originally been. You might say, "Well, that's it all over."
    A daughter asked her mother what marriage was. Her mother said, “Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore. I hear some of you agreeing with her.
    We have had cats; we have had hamsters. We have had both at the same time. Mason and Dixon (hamsters) were always in a cage on the hearth of the fireplace. Sweetie would get on top of the cage to “talk” to them. Prihissie would sit in front and tap the cage with her paw. Mason and Dixon would sit and poop more than usual. One time, Sweetie came to the table when we were eating. He’d just rattled the cage and this is how he looked; I think it was what he was saying, to us, "Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I ate your hamsters this morning."

    Do you know that older people who have had a lot of experience and share it readily are called ‘OLD FARTS’? That is because the experience has lead to wisdom and our heads are so full it has to come out somewhere. Blessings and smiles, Trudy
    Whether you think you can or think you can't.....you're right.

    "There is no try; you either do or don't." Yoda

  • #2
    Wonderful Trudy! Sending hugs and smiles your way!
    Your attitude towards life defines not only who you are, but the quality of life you are after.
    Conservation is a big long word for maintaining what you've worked so hard to achieve.

    Comment


    • #3
      I wish I knew how to put the pictures, which are on the 2014 November newsletter, on here, too.
      Whether you think you can or think you can't.....you're right.

      "There is no try; you either do or don't." Yoda

      Comment


      • #4
        The newsletter you sent to me via email only had your introduction....no link to read the newsletter. I was glad you posted it to this website....enjoyed it thoroughly.

        My old computer literally died and I lost everything....so now I have a new HP netbook....purely portable. Just getting used to it...keyboard is not very user friendly.....very flat, not like a desktop keyboard....so I am learning how to type all over again....my piano teacher of many years ago would be mortified; she insisted on using the fingertips. Learning new things everyday!
        Your attitude towards life defines not only who you are, but the quality of life you are after.
        Conservation is a big long word for maintaining what you've worked so hard to achieve.

        Comment


        • #5
          Thank you so much, Jane for letting me know through this website. I have sent one to you and all the others with j-l as their initial letter. You were the only one who mentioned it. Maybe the others just don't want to read it any more. (sigh) I'm glad you enjoy it.
          Whether you think you can or think you can't.....you're right.

          "There is no try; you either do or don't." Yoda

          Comment

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