Trudy's NOVEMBER '10 newsletter/column

[Trudy in Illinois]

trudy_hands.png ’10 November “FMP” trudy_feet.png

Hands and feet tell so much about us. Have you ever closely looked at a person’s hands and/or feet and wondered what stories they tell? There are even words which have roots of “hands” or “feet. Some people believe in palmistry, hoping the lines on their palm will tell them of their future. Some people want a hand-out, and some people think sitting around will take them to where they need or want to be. When Hubby Dearest’s sister wanted him to loan/give her a large sum of money (he knew she’d never return the money), he told her, “Your hand is always out, but you don’t lift a finger to help yourself. You’re capable of working to earn the sum of money you’re expecting me to give you. I say ‘give’ because you have never bothered to repay me the previous times I’ve LOANED some to you.” When my kids had graduated from high school, they wanted to have a part-time job while attending a local junior college. They sat around moaning and whining about “No job, no money”. They were told, “A job position is NOT going to come knocking on the front door. Get up and start moving yourself toward finding one.” I found a saying which is appropriate for this: “God provides food for every bird. He just doesn’t throw it in the nest.”

The first time I ever fixed a Thanksgiving dinner turned out to be a number 1 disaster. No one told me the bird needed to be defrosted for a few days in the refrigerator. So I wrapped it in foil and baked it at 450 for as long as I thought is should cook. The mashed potatoes were lumpy and I'd added too much milk. They were more like mashed potato stew. I got the wrong kind of cranberry stuff instead of the usual gel. The green beans got overdone, more like cremated. I took off the top what wasn't burned, and spooned through the rest retrieving the lesser burned ones and stirred them through the others. The gravy was VERY thick---sliceable comes to mind. The pie's bottom crust didn't get completely cooked and the whipped cream was two molecules from being sour. I served it anyway apologizing to my family. They kept smiling and serving the dishes. Every one ate, but not as much as they usually did. At the end of the meal, Daddy told us he felt we needed to have another prayer of thanksgiving. "Oh Lord, we come before you with almost satiated stomachs. We thank you for Trudy's unselfish efforts to make this meal. We ask you to bless her and help her learn how to prepare a turkey and the other items she stumbled on. And, most of all, we are thankful this won't happen again. Amen." Daddy was grinning from ear to ear, Mother couldn't stop shaking her head, my bother and sister had their napkins over their faces and stuffed in their mouths to keep from laughing out loud. I sat their thinking and planning trying to figure out if he really meant the prayer or not.

Below are some hand and feet words with their meanings and etymology.
prestidigitation (pres-ti-dij-i-TAY-shuhn) noun 1. A sleight of hand. 2. Deceitfulness, trickery. [From French prestidigitation (conjuring), from preste (nimble) + Latin digitus (finger).] antipodal (an-TIP-uh-duhl) adjective 1. Situated on the opposite side of the earth (or another body). Diametrically opposite or completely opposite. [Via Latin from Greek antipodes (literally, those having the feet opposite), plural of antipous, from anti- (opposite) + pous (foot). Ultimately from the Indo-European root ped- (foot) which gave us peccadillo (alluding to a stumble or fall), pedal, impeccable, podium, octopus, and impeach.] legerdemain (lej-uhr-duh-MAYN) noun 1. Sleight of hand. 2. A display of skill. [From French leger de main (light of hand), from leger (light) + de (of) + main (hand). Ultimately from the Indo-European root man- (hand) that's also the source of manage, maintain, maneuver, manufacture, manuscript, and command.] expediency (ek-SPEE-dee-uhn-see) noun 1. Consideration of what is advantageous or easy or immediate over what is right. 2. The quality of being suited for a purpose. [From Latin expedire (to make ready, to set the feet free), from ex- (out of) + ped- (foot). Ultimately from the Indo-European root ped- (foot) which gave us peccadillo (alluding to a stumble or fall), pedal, impeccable, podium,
octopus, and impeach.] mortmain (MOHRT-mayn) noun 1. The perpetual ownership of property by institutions such as churches. 2. The often stifling influence of the past on the present and the living. [From Anglo-Norman mortmayn, feminine of morte (dead) + main (hand), from Latin mortua manus (dead hand). Ultimately from the Indo-European root man- (hand) that's also the source of manage, maintain, maneuver, manufacture, manuscript, and command.]

I found some really wise sayings and wanted to share them with you. There are some which really jumped out at me. I'm sure there will be some which will do the same to you. And then there is the one my Daddy used to tell me: "Life's tough; it's tougher when you're stupid." Daddy never told me I was stupid, but this remark did trip off his lips from time to time. I really like the one that Guy's father told him a long time ago: "You can be sorry for a long time." I try to apply that to statements or actions which may follow my thoughts or "want to's". I hate being sorry for something that felt good to say or do for just a moment. An Old Farmer's Advice: Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whispered....not yelled. Meanness don't jes' happen overnight. Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads. Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. You cannot unsay a cruel word. Every path has a few puddles. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. The best sermons are lived, not preached. Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway. Don't judge folks by their relatives. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time. Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'. Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got. The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'. Always drink upstream from the herd. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. Don't pick a fight with an old man; if he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. I know you’ve read some of these before, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to repeat them. It’s sort of like a traffic STOP sign…you see it frequently and know it’s there for a reason. If you don’t heed the reason, you find out why it was there.

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Hubby Dearest evidently ate something which didn’t agree with his gastro-intestinal tract. The next morning I heard him in the bathroom for the third time in 2 hours. When he came out, I asked him if he was alright. He said, “Yes I am, and you are so sweet to ask. I didn’t know I was so full of poop”--- (“poop” isn’t what he said, though). I looked at him and just rolled my eyes. Somehow I went from being “so nice” to a “smart ass” faster than the speed of light.

Let no man pull you low enough to hate him. -Martin Luther King, Jr., civil-rights leader (1929-1968) This statement is rather difficult to abide by until we examine the message. I have had a few people walk through my life who have earned my feelings of hate for them. It was when I examined my Christian beliefs that I realized this was wrong. It wasn’t the person I hated; it was what they did and how the disappointment, betrayal, hurt, and negativity of them made me feel. I discovered it wasn’t the person, it was what they represented; they were just the vessel of that which I hate.
A dear friend and I had quite a conversation and swapping of philosophies about this. She wrestles with evil doing evil things repeatedly. Then on their death bed they ask for forgiveness; I wrestle with that, too. Here is how I explained my belief about it. “How do you know where each of us goes after we die? Many try to be good, do the right thing and find comfort in thinking they will go to Heaven. Some don't do anything but please themselves believing that in the end they'll go to Heaven in a last ditch effort. And then there are those who have Hell on Earth each day of their lives through no fault of their own; and there are those who knowingly do something wrong, but don't care, but they pray for forgiveness because they think there's something in it for them. There are those who don't know they're doing something wrong and they do it. Then, they find out it was wrong and they feel horrible and pray for forgiveness. I try to do what I believe is good and accepting to God. Yes, I know I fall short, but that is what forgiveness is all about. I believe He forgives everyone, but He doesn't forget. At the pearly gates He'll be standing with his ledger in hand. One approaches and says their name. God checks and says, "Yep, you're here at the pearly gates; however, you just get to look in because of what you did and kept doing." The person whines, "But You said You forgive wrong doings." "That is correct. I forgave you, but you see, I don't forget. I invented a physics law which states: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. You’ve come up here, now you get to go down there. Bye."That's how I see it; this was FROM MY PERSPECTIVE. If you’d like to send me your view point, I’d enjoy reading it; ‘just may put it in next month’s column, too. Of course, you’ll remain anonymous.

“You can't be a memory if you never were something to begin with.” Thisgoes along with a statement Johnny Cash said to his former son-in-law when he started to argue with Johnny at Johnny’s home, “Young man, I don’t know you well enough to miss you when you’re gone.” I said this to asmart-mouthed teen who had just been introduced to me. He started calling me by my first name (a big No-No in my book), telling me what to do, and what I should do. I thought to myself, “Hmmm, it just goes to show ‘you just can’t fix stupid’.” I said that to him and the Johnny Cash quote. He hushed and I could see he was trying to engage an act foreign to him---thinking.

"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws." Plato

My daughter came over for dinner. Stephen had been a real “terrorist” that day and I shared his activities with her. She wasn’t real pleased with him and told him. During our conversation he chimed in. She turned to him and said, “You do not need to “conversate” with me right now.” I went through my mental dictionary and couldn’t find the word. I looked in the book dictionary…couldn’t find it there, either. I looked at her and told her it wasn’t in the dictionary. She smiled and said, “Well, you didn’t look in the dictionary I’m writing.” (My spell check is going nutz right now.) This is a kid who had trouble spelling parmesan cheese and wrote “stink cheese.” She has had to write CEREBRAL PALSY in her reports at work. Often she sends them to me via the computer to check them over for grammar and structure. She kept saying “cereal bowl” palsy. I called her and asked her what that was. She told me she couldn’t remember how to spell CEREBRAL and put “cereal bowl” there to remind her to look it up for spelling.

We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are. J.K. Rowling, author

'Whatever you give a woman will multiply. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.' So, fair warning. Don't give her any crap.

He who praises everybody, praises nobody. -Samuel Johnson, lexicographer (1709-1784) This saying, also, says to me the blanket statement of “Thank you for all you have done” is not sincere. Mentioning some specific deeds means more than that, to me, because if a person can’t mention a few deeds, then they have not noticed “ALL YOU HAVE DONE.”

Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again; skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts. -Anonymous

Brenduhh stopped by. She had a letter from her e-mail carrier and asked me to read it over and tell her why she’d received it. It said, “Madam, you have an very long password. Please shorten it.” I told her it states the password has to be 8 characters long. She said, “It is eight characters long--- “Bashful,Doc,Dopey,Grumpy, Happy,Sleepy,Sneezey,Goofy.” Bless her heart. She, also, showed me a picture of her new car and license plate. It was a smart looking car UNTIL you saw the license plate was upside down. It said, BLOND.

trudy_car.jpg

May your giving be thankful, and your thankfulness be giving. Trudy

[MadClikr]

Trudy, thank you for another wonderful newsletter! I really enjoyed the farmer's advice.

[Trudy in Illinois]

You're very welcome. I enjoy putting it together. Sometimes I am so surprised at what I wrote that I sit back and think about.

[mspete]

I enjoyed your news letter, too. The farmer's advice is so true! About two months ago I got really angry at my SIL & chewed her out! I seldom get "out of control angry". This is the only family we have nearby. She is the wife of DH's only brother. Her habit was to call me two or three times a week and drone on and on about nothing. After my outburst she did not call for two or three weeks. I was determined that I was not going to apologize because in my opinion I was right. The problem was the way I had addressed the subject. After about three weeks and I cooled off, I called her at apologized for losing my temper. I don't know if the apology was accepted, but she has called me once or twice. I know that I feel better because I needed to apologize. I certainly don't want the situation to damage the relationship between their family and ours. We always share Thanksgiving and Christmas with them and I hope there is not a "chill" on the occasions because of my lack of self-control.

[Trudy in Illinois]

Good for you to apologize and move on hoping the apology was accepted. I told my son once when he needed to apologize and wouldn't,
"If ever you think you're too good to apologize, you're not good enough." He later apologized to his friend after thinking what I said.
Perhaps your SIL is lonely and won't let on to anyone about it. Perhaps she doesn't realize you are busy even though you're retired. And, perhaps she doesn't realize the statements she's making are not as meaningful to you as they are to her. I've dealt with all that from others and been guilty of some of it to others.

On the lighter side, have you ever heard a voice you swear you could just sit and listen to them read the phone book? I have. The actor Sam Elliot, singers Josh Turner and Trace Adkins and my husband's voice do that to me. Then, there are my two adult children whom I could listen to for hours. When they were both at the same university, we'd have a special time they'd be in my daughter's room for the phone call from me. They'd put me on speaker so they could talk at the same time or volley the conversation. I'd sit 350 miles away just listening to them and thinking, "Ahhh, this is just like having them at home." When my son went in the Navy and was in FL for training, he'd use a code and I'd call him on that phone. We'd talk for a long time and then there was silence. "Momm, what are you doing?" "Oh my love, I'm just listening to you breathe as I did when you were home and sleeping." "But, Momm, it's costing you money to listen to me breathe." "I don't mind; it's my nickel, sweetie." We'd laugh and I'd be somewhat satiated with his "presence" until the next phone call.