January 2011 "From My Perspective"

[Trudy in Illinois]

I hope your new year will be just what you want and bring you lots of smiles, hugs, and prosperity.

trudy_january.jpg2011 “From My Perspective”

Have you ever been telling or explaining something and you wanted to make it clearer or have more emphasis? Sometimes when we do this we interrupt our sentence and expand the number we were going to use. As a mother, I’ve found myself doing this when frustration starts to rule instead of logic. “I’ve told you a hundred, no, a thousand times to not do that!” I think kids keep a secret record of how many times we tell them something and then on the magic number a miracle happens---they start doing what we’ve told them hundreds, no, thousands of times to do. Well, I found a word which gives definition to that interruption of a number and its increase. The word is epanorthosis (ep-uh-nor-THO-sis) noun: The immediate rephrasing of something said in order to correct it or to make it stronger. Usually indicated by: no, nay, rather, I mean, etc. [From Greek epanorthosis (correction, revision), from epi- (upon) + ana-(again) + orthosis (making straight), from ortho (straight).] This is not to be confused with the common statement of most kids and young people of today ---“Ya know what I’m sayin’?” My belief of that is, if when one is talking or describing something and one has to resort to that question, they haven’t been articulate enough to convey their thoughts.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. "Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled and said, "I'm glad you asked." The coffee just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee or a few beers with a friend."

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading an old, tired, dirty mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to." A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's butt?" The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir...... but...I've always wanted to." There are two lessons for us all here: Don't waste ammunition. Don't mess with old people. I just love a story with a happy ending! My Uncle Fortesque always told me two things, “If an old person cain’t fight ya, they’ll jesst kill ya. Experience is what ya git when ya’ve learnt from yer mistakes.” He was wise.

I just had a call from a local charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. After I finished laughing, I told them, “Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!”

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the passenger lounge in Bozeman, Montana, while waiting for their respective flights. One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer, another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East. Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull. The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table, tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face, and lights a cigarette. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes. Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, 'At one time here... my people were many...but sadly, now we are few.' The radical Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, 'Once my people were few,' he sneers, 'and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?' The cowboy removes his cigarette from his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl. 'I reckon that's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and radical Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone---you’re the one who gets burned.

My beloved asked me the other day, “How many dias are in a case ‘a dias? It says in this advertisement, ‘Come enjoy our delicious quesadillas.’” He’s such a smarty pants.

A minute contains 60 seconds. That’s saying, “Mississippi” 60 times. But, when a minute is preceded by “just a”, well, 60 short seconds can be an eternity.

ONOMATOMANIA (on-uh-mat-uh-MAY-nee-uh) noun. An obsession with particular words or names and desire to recall or repeat them. [Via Latin, from Greek onoma (name) + -mania (excessive enthusiasm or craze).] I think mothers have this condition. When I was growing up, mine would call my name again and again. Then she’d go to the first and middle one, over and over again. Then, all three said over and over again. I think I have it, too----“Make your bed, pick up your clothes, straighten-up your room, brush your teeth, blah blah blah.” Mothers are cursed with this condition until the kids leave home. Well, maybe for life because the repetition changes to, “Call me”, “Be careful driving”, etc.

Stephen had been nasty for 2 days and seemed to be having a bi-polar swing. Well, I got tired of his attitude and said to him, "Alright Mr. Whoever You Are Today, get happy or shut up your nasty mouth. Only 2 mood swings are allowed on MY playground and you've exceeded your allotment!" He snarled back, "Boy are you in a bad mood." I couldn't hold back; "Really!!?? I'm looking at the reason which gives me a lot of practice."

Wise sayings from Chief Seattle: “Man does not weave his web of life. He is merely a strand of it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.” “Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together; all things connect.”

beldam (BEL-duhm, -DAM) noun---An old woman: a hag. [From Middle English beldam (grandmother), from Old French bel (fine) + dame (lady). In Middle English, the prefix bel was used to indicate relationships, such as belsire or belfader (grandfather, ancestor). In Modern French belle is still used to indicate in-law relationships. A belle-mere is a mother-in-law or a stepmother, for example.] I bet you read that as BEDLAM. I did the first time. Interesting how the switching of just two letters changes the word and definition. But then again, when it’s bedlam around here, I’m a beldam with an attitude.

World's Shortest Books:
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan. Illustrated by Michael Moore
MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS & HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL and THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY By Bill & Hillary Clinton
THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD by Bill Gates
THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY by Dennis Rodman
THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE by Al Gore & John Kerry
GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE by Mike Tyson
THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
MY BOOK OF MORALS by Bill Clinton with introduction by the Rev. Jesse Jackson
COMPLETE KNOWLEDGE of MILITARY STRATEGY By Nancy Pelosi (“Buh bye, Nancy.”)

trudy_snowmen.jpg

School has resumed; my sanity is returning; it is so quiet here only the dust is making noise. When I was teaching I was always so thrilled to have 2 weeks off at Christmas. Now as a parent, again, dread lurches into high gear and happy pills get refilled on a regular basis. While we’re at it, let's throw in "Go to your room" and the discussion after that order---"Dad, why is she smiling? Momm come back here, I didn't mean it!"

Son asked his mother the following question:
'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies: 'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.' The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. 'Dad why are wedding dresses white?' The father looks at his son in surprise and says: “Son, all household appliances come in white.” Brave or foolish…you pick.

Good tips: http://www.tipking.co.uk/

Until next month----Blessings to you. Trudy J

[Trudy in Illinois]

February's should be posted soon. I've been without a computer for a few days. 'Thought I'd lose my mind for sure. Couple that with the kids (two teens) home for 3 days due to snow/blizzard and it was confirmed I had. Hubby Dearest has such a way with words, and I have a way with fingers.