October 2011 "From My Perspective"

[Trudy in Illinois]

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OCTOBER 2011

You can't shame or humiliate modern celebrities. What used to be called shame and humiliation is now called publicity. -P.J. O'Rourke, writer (b.1947)

Isn’t that interesting? Those of us who are 40+ know that negative behavior goes against what we were taught. I see the constant negative behavior of some celebrities, no matter what their field, as a strong, immature desire for attention. As a mother and teacher, I had that in my home and classroom----behavior which wasn’t acceptable, but received some attention. It was then that I’d let the “culprit” know that the nanosecond of correction was the only amount of attention they would receive; after that I would pay no attention to them or dismiss them to another area out of my sight. Silence is sometimes the best weapon against your foe.

“M-ah-ah-mm!! Why didn’t you give me a present?” my young snip whined. “I did, it was life,” was my retort after dealing with too many recent days of disrespectful words and actions. “That’s not much of a present,” came the volley. “Really?” I sneered. Then remembering what Bill Cosby said in a comedy sketch/routine I quipped, “Well, I brought you into this world, I can take you out.”

While driving on the highway, I drifted over to a rumble strip. Guy grumbled, “Would you watch where you’re going??? You just went over one of those damn rumble strips.” I looked at him and said, “So that’s what that was; ‘woke me right up, too.”

This was sent to me from a friend. It is so true to those of us who are over 58. If you can’t identify, oh well. When I bought my Blackberry I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space. That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world. My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my vehicle. The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my sewing machine table with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to a friend and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud. I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings. The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me. Now I toss it back to them when they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."

Every creature is better alive than dead, men and moose and pine trees, and he who understands it aright will rather preserve its life than destroy it. -Henry David Thoreau, naturalist and author (1817-1862)
I don’t understand about mosquitoes, flies, and those biting ladybugs (I call them “b**chbugs”, because a lady doesn’t bite) unless they are food for other creatures like martin birds, frogs, and lizards.

The other day I was doing something which called for my undivided attention. Hubby Dearest (HD) began talking to me about politics, candidate choices, and other things which would not affect my life to any degree. I told him I needed quiet and to stop talking to me. There was a loud “Grrrrupmfft” from him. Later that day, he was concentrating. I started to talk about what spices to put into a soup, the crumbs under the toaster, and what material to use for my next doll outfit to make. He told me, “Can’t you see I’m trying to concentrate? Stop talking and telling me insignificant jibberish which doesn’t affect my life.” My quick retort, “Well, how do YOU like it, Mr. Jabber Jaws? You do this to me most frequently;” another “Grrupmfft” emitted from Mr. JJ.

Recently a friend of mine sent me some pictures of ice fishing in Upper Michigan. Someone’s car and snowmobile had gone through the ice and the series of pictures showed the efforts of the other fishermen helping retrieve them. It was amusing to me because I remember back in the late 50's or early 60's, Daddy went ice fishing in Upper Michigan with his boss, Mr. Bonebrake (he was a character and a half for sure). Gods, what an adventure my Southern gentleman had. Daddy was from VA and didn't do cold real well. Well, to make the story short, when he returned Mother made him hot tea every day for about 2 weeks, he used all the hot water every time he showered, I was introduced to the term "long johns", garments that looked like they were aliens’ and "colder than hell for God's sake" was frequently mentioned along with "never again, I swear to Pete, but don't tell Boney." The memory picture makes me laugh.

CHURCH SIGNS FROM ALL OVER "Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet him." "No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace." "Free trip to heaven! Details inside." "You think it’s hot here?" "Having trouble sleeping? We have sermons, come hear one!" "God so loved the world that He did not send a committee." "In the dark? Follow the Son." "Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up."
"Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!" "God answers all knee-mail" "I said, COMMANDMENTS, not SUGGESTIONS!" "No church is too big for you; however, I've seen a few that lost the sight of Me." "Heaven is non-denominational, but casserole carrying Methodists are welcomed with open arms.”

For those of you who are computer users, did you know that the original “point and click” was a Smith and Wesson? For those of you who are NOT computer users, you know that point and click is referring to a gun or ball point pen. That’s all.

I have a friend who is dabbling in short romance novels using her experiences as a reference. Here is the first one: He held me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room. I had never been there but I knew this was his room. I knew what he was going to do to me, and I knew I was going to let him. The door closed quietly and we were alone. He approached silently from behind and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear. "Just relax." Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and caressing upward along my tender calves slowly and steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved under my skirt to my thighs I gave a slight shudder and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. His knowing fingers continued upward across my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply. Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, his teasing hands quickly moved to my shoulders and slid down my tingling spine. My entire body was throbbing when he discovered my pink, lace thong. Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. "This is a man," I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking "No" for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say..."Okay all done. Here's your purse, ma'am. Have a nice flight."
Hmmm, I think I may become a frequent flyer.

wormwood (WUHRM-wood) noun 1. A plant of the genus Artemisia, used in making absinthe and medicines. 2. Something that brings bitterness or grief. I’m sure we can all identify with this word.

This was sent to me by my very special friend, Mel. I put my name in and found I was the only one in the entire USA. Mother always told me I was “a one and only and the mold was broken when I was born.” Maybe you are, too. Here is the site: http://howmanyofme.com

Starbucks, what inspired the company's name? Moby Dick. (Starbuck was the name of the first mate on the Pequod, the ship at the centre of Herman Melville's famous novel.)

The kids and I went to church. We sat as a family. I say that because S. usually wants to sit with someone who has chewing gum and knows he'll get some; Tara is in a stage where she doesn't want people to know we're related, thus sits away from me. I've pinched her for it and she usually reacts so someone knows something happened between her and me. She was an acolyte that day, the choir didn't sing, so we sat in the 3rd. pew from the alter. A sign-up sheet was passed around for help with some children's activity for a few weeks. I told T. to pass it to me. There was a silent "discussion" and glaring on her part. I put my index finger across my throat and squinted my eyes at her, snapped my fingers as quietly as I could and again pointed for her to send it to me (I love sign language). It was passed, and she took the posture of defiant troll with arms crossed and pouting lips. Stephen was between us, mentioned how ugly she was acting which caused his halo to squeeze his head like a stubborn zit. The people 2 pews behind us snickered through all this. I guess they had been through it eons ago with their teens and now don't have that to bother with anymore as both are in their 30's now. At the door I shook the minister's hand. He said, "God bless you." I thanked him and asked him to say a prayer for T's safety home. 'That I knew he'd seen the silent discussion she and I were having. He chuckled; I told him, "God's gonna get you for that." He laughed out loud, then. He has 3 sons who bring him to his knees frequently. He and I share stories. I think it's called CAN YOU TOP THIS.
I have a friend whose little boy says some pretty funny things. Here is his latest: The teacher asked the students to name 3 cold things. He wrote, “Snow, ice, Mom’s heart.” I think his name in her will is in jeopardy, now.

There comes a time in life, when you walk away from the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So, love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is LIFE; getting back up is LIVING.

Fruitful blessing for another month..Trudy

[mspete]

Thank you, Trudy. Enjoyed this column. I look forward to your "musings" every month. God bless.

[MadClikr]

I particularly enjoyed the punch line at the end of the air travel quote. I guess I'm a bit old fashioned, and even though the people touching are generally same-gender, I feel nervous about it. I may be taking a trip here soon, and the whole thing makes me really uncomfortable.

I love some of the church signs we have around here. I passed one yesterday that said something about Twitter, but I was going by to fast to read the whole thing. I hope it's still up the next time I drive by!

"There comes a time in life, when you walk away from the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So, love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is LIFE; getting back up is LIVING." Amen!